I am reading a book that is changing my life. It’s called “The Happiness Advantage” by Shawn Achor. I assure you it will change your life as well.
In this book, Shawn shares a story from the Roman poet Ovid about a man called Pygmalion. Pygmalion was a sculptor who was said could sculpt anything; it was said he would look at a piece of marble and see a brilliant piece of artwork hiding inside. One day, Pygmalion stumbled upon an exceptional block of marble, and from within he saw a beautiful woman, begging to come out. Pygmalion began sculpting immediately, and months later he created his most masterful piece of art: the woman Galatea. She was beautiful not only in appearance but in her representation of all of Pygmalion’s hopes and dreams, the zenith of his creations.
The story says that Pygmalion begged Venus to bring this sculpture to life, which she did.
Now, skip ahead to the twentieth century where an experiment was conducted in an elementary school. The students in the classes were assigned a test at the beginning of the school year, testing all subjects generally according to their grade. The teachers were then told the names of the students who got the best scores in the class but were strictly told to not treat them any differently or mention their test scores at all during the entire year.
By the end of the year, a similar test was administered, and these top students got the top score again. This all makes sense, if it weren’t for this little fact: those students weren’t actually the top students at the beginning of the year. Their beginning test score was average at best. The researchers had lied to the teachers; and yet, those students wound up being at the top.
How could this be? The teachers were told not to mention to the students that they got the top score! However, it’s obvious that their behavior towards them was influenced – perhaps they encouraged and pushed them more than they would have otherwise – and those students excelled far beyond how they perhaps should have performed.
This is known as the Pygmalion Effect, described by Shawn as being “when our belief in another person’s potential brings that potential to life”.
What a beautiful principle! Who knew that mere belief in someone could have such an impact on them?
As I thought about this concept, I reflected on all those who have believed in me in my life: my wonderful parents, who pushed me and gave me bounteous opportunities; my beautiful fiancé Meghan, who never lets me forget how valuable I am to her and to God; my high school band teacher Mr. Follett, who praised me while also calling on me to improve; my mission president and wife President and Sister Runia, whose love was as unconditional as their expectations were high; and countless others who I do not have the room to mention here.
In my more prideful moments I attribute my accolades and accomplishments to my own perseverance and skill. And yet, as I think deeper and more humbly about them, I cannot help but acknowledge all the help I received. But behind all of that help was a constant, never-ending belief by others that I would succeed. That belief was manifested in their actions, feedback, and pressure exhibited on my behalf. Very few things have filled me with more gratitude than this recognition.
Shawn applies this principle to the workplace, saying that “employees typically become the kind of worker their manager expects them to be.” Even further, he states, “people act as we expect them to act, which means that a leader’s expectations about what he thinks will motivate his employees often end up coming true.”
This can apply in every facet of our lives, for in every facet of our lives we have some influence on someone: as parents, as siblings, as teachers, as church leaders, as roommates, as friends, as teammates, as anyone. Only when we see the potential in others, and treat them with that potential in mind, will that potential shine through, just as Galatea came out of Pygmalion’s solid marble block.
Now, what if we are struggling to see the potential in ourselves? What if we aren’t blessed with people in our lives who treat us as beings with infinite potential? Well, perhaps the greatest lesson we can learn from scripture is that we are not alone; and not only are we not alone, but we are loved – infinitely – by the most powerful being in the universe.
If this is ever a doubt in our lives, let us reflect on these words:
“And my Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me, that as I have been lifted up by men even so should men be lifted up by the Father, to stand before me” (3 Nephi 27:14)
“He doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw all men unto him." (2 Nephi 26:24)
“Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you” (Doc & Cov 68:6)
I don’t know about you, but I for one would not dedicate my entire life and suffer infinite pain and anguish for someone who has limited potential. The fact that Jesus Christ has done just this is infallible proof that we matter; and not only do we matter, but we have potential, far greater than any of us have ever imagined.
So then, let’s not squander the Pygmalion effect while it is being used on our behalf. Let’s stop pushing God away when all He wants to do is draw that potential out of us. Yes it’s hard – that Godly potential has to funnel its way out of a carnal body, a squeezing that is quite uncomfortable – but in the end, when “our house becomes a mansion” as C.S. Lewis would put it, it will all have been worth it.
In closing, a final word of summary: people will become who we brand them to become. When we brand someone as a failure, they will fail. When we brand someone as stupid, they will be stupid. When we brand someone as a terrorist, they will be a terrorist. We as people do far too much branding, especially across racial lines. We must stop that now and see all people as, to paraphrase C.S. Lewis once more, potential Gods and Goddesses, each with a destiny greater than we can ever imagine. This mentality is the only mentality that will support a kind, flourishing society.
I hope we may all see the good in others and accept the good that others see in us and allow our actions to be dictated by that goodness.
All the best!
Adam Simpson
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