Happy Mother’s Day! This is my first at home in 3 years, and it feels quite nice. I’m always impressed with Mother’s Day. It seems like a holiday that the entire world supports and celebrates wholeheartedly – EVERYONE has a mother or at least some kind of matriarchal figure to celebrate on this day. I for one am incredibly grateful for my mother and the characteristics that she has.
It’s a very unlikely thing to doubt the character of a mother. Indeed, it’s so unlikely that I rarely see it happen, except in teenagers – and they soon learn, as I did, that even when they think they’re right, they’re typically not. At least from what I’ve seen in my life, a mother always has the best interest of her children at heart. Doubting that can separate us from the love of a mother, leading us to argue and push against her when really that is the worst thing to do. It is essential that we never doubt the character of a mother.
Then, is the same not true for God? Does He not have our best interest at heart? I’ve heard it said that a mother’s love is the closest thing we have to understanding God’s love, and even that is imperfect compared to how He feels about us.
So why do we sometimes doubt the character of God?
I don’t think most of us do this intentionally. It is a fierce trick of the adversary that we sometimes succumb to unknowingly. Joseph Smith often taught about how important it was to know the character of God. He said:
“If men do not comprehend the character of God, they do not comprehend themselves.”
(King Follett Sermon, 7 April 1844)
No wonder the adversary tries to make us doubt our Father! If we know who He is, we begin to know who we are. When we know who we are, an infinite array of powers and strengths are at our fingertips, and all of a sudden we cannot be dragged down by evil influences.
As I said, I don’t believe we misjudge God purposefully or even willingly. I’m convinced that circumstances in our lives – specifically trials and hard times – are engineered so that we question the character of God, for by so doing we are prepared to come unto Him and know Him if we so choose. It had to be like this – “opposition in all things” – in order for us to willingly learn the character of God by revelation.
So, when and how do we doubt the character of God? If we know this, we can recognize it and combat it. I have detected certain ways that I doubt God, so maybe I can share them with you and we can help each other with this difficult task.
Sometimes I doubt His personal plan for me.
As I’ve thought about this lately, I’ve thought about how easy it is to compare my life with others, especially during this time of isolation. I’m shocked at how quickly I frown at the success and joy others are finding in their lives – and then I turn on Netflix and remain in isolation. It’s a feeling that I hate having, yet it is so easy to fall into that temptation.
I imagine I am standing in a large orchard, looking up at the fruit in the infinitely-many trees surrounding me. I look around at everyone around me and realize we’re all too small to reach the fruit. Then the Gardener comes with a large stick, plucking fruit to give to everyone. I would really love a juicy orange – I’m confident that nothing could make me happier than that orange. I see people around me getting those oranges or mangoes and peeling them, smiling uncontrollably as they take a bite. Then, my turn finally comes. I hold out my hand, close my eyes, and feel the fruit press into my palm. I open my eyes and find that it’s…
An apple.
I hate apples!
(My family knows that I don’t like apples – it’s a running joke that there’s an apple at every meal in my house, so now I’m sick of them.)
All I wanted was that orange, but I got an apple!
Immediately I yell at the Gardener, thinking there’s been some mistake. All my friends got oranges or mangoes or strawberries, and I’m stuck with this no-good apple. All at once, I hate everyone that got a better fruit than I did, and I sink into bitterness.
And what’s worse, I don’t even eat my apple.
There was a common and moving teaching of my mission president’s wife Sister Runia that God has a plan that is both “personal AND purposeful” for each of His children. Recently, I received a letter from the Runias, one that they sent to all of their missionaries during this time of crisis, full of her teachings. It’s one of the most powerful things I’ve ever read, and I wish I could share it all with you but it’s far too long. I’ll share a snippet now:
“This is at the heart of my testimony and witness.
That what we are going through has Meaning
That each one of us has a Plan that is both Personal and Purposeful!!
Our plan is individualized and is being watched over by loving Heavenly Parents, who weep right along with us because of what we are going through. Each one of us are known and numbered to Them.
And is it too much to imagine that our Savior is also weeping?
One of the most poignant evidences in all of scripture is the verse, “Jesus wept”
He did so knowing full well that within hours, He would heal and restore life to his dear friend Lazarus, Still, he wept. He felt that emotion. He didn’t dismiss or discount it.
This belief, that there are millions of individual plans of salvation for each of God’s children removes the temptation to look sideways and ask, “Why doesn’t My plan look like theirs?”"
This way of thinking HAS TO BE the solution! There is no other way! Doubting the character of God destroys any possibility that we have of progression and happiness in this life.
That apple was given to me by a loving God who has calculated and engineered a specific plan for me – and only me – knowing that it is what’s best for me. It’s a glorious thing that our plan does not look like anyone else’s! If He treated us all the same, THAT would give us reason to doubt His character, believing with evidence that He doesn’t know us personally. Rather, because we all get different plans, we have MORE evidence of His good character.
He doesn’t disregard that I wanted an orange, but He lovingly gives me not what I want but what I NEED.
When my mother gives me an apple, I don’t doubt her character – I don’t like them, but I know apples are good for me. And I (usually) eat them and am better because of it.
Then, why do I doubt God when He gives me an apple?
Joseph Smith said this:
“Having a knowledge of God, we begin to know how to approach Him, and how to ask so as to receive an answer.
When we understand the character of God, and know how to come to Him, He begins to unfold the heavens to us, and to tell us all about it. When we are ready to come to him, he is ready to come to us.”
(King Follett Sermon)
There’s another reason for understanding the character of God! When we truly know Him, we can better converse with Him, just like in our lives – when we know someone better, we are more comfortable around them. In this way, it takes work to know God better. Relationships take work. But that work pays off.
I am struck by this idea of trusting in God – as you know, I talk about “Trusting in the Lord” quite often. Recently I’ve gleaned a new take on this concept, one that I may have shared before but is worth sharing again:
Hope is a specific, trust is a generality.
I imagine a forest with numerous, even infinite paths, leading to one finish – eternal life. We have that specific hope of reaching the finish, but we have no idea which path to take to get us there. If our trust is fixed on one path, then life will most likely take us in a different one, and all of a sudden we feel our trust has been violated.
What if, then, our trust is in the GUIDE, and not in the route?
With this mentality, our trust never falters, because whatever path we take we know that the guide is leading us correctly. Much like the apple analogy, if we don’t worry about what fruit we get but rather trust in the Gardener, our life will be much happier.
Someday, we will all reach the end of the forest, each holding our own piece of fruit, each with our own unique cuts and bruises but which rewarded us with experiences and developed talents. If our trust was in a perfect Guide and loving Gardener, then that day will be joyous for us all!
We will all have lived through a perfect, personal, and purposeful plan given by a loving God who never had anything but our best interest at heart.
“He doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world: for He loveth the world…”
(2 Nephi 26:24)
“All things have been done in the wisdom of Him who knoweth all things”
(2 Nephi 2:24)
Joseph Smith made this striking comment:
“It is necessary for us to have an understanding of God himself in the beginning. If we start right, it is easy to go right all the time; but if we start wrong we may go wrong, and it will be a hard matter to get right.”
(King Follett Sermon)
Now is our time to start right. Now is our time to think about our lives and try to find God’s hand in them – for if we search, we will find Him. All things in our lives are meticulously calculated for our benefit and to lead us to find and know God.
Misjudging God’s character is, in my young opinion, the number one source of heartbreak and sorrow in our lives.
At least, it has been in my life.
My hatred for apples and my distrust in the Guide has caused me unnecessary bitterness and despair.
I’m learning to stop that and trust God.
And so can we all.
Adam Simpson
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