My apologies for not writing last week – I was asked to be the speaker in our first sacrament meeting back in the chapel, so I suppose writing and delivering that talk distracted me from writing that day. But today there are no excuses! Just finished making my dad breakfast in bed with my little sister, so I’m in a good mood to write down some simple insights.
A couple of nights ago I went on a double date with my girlfriend Meghan, my friend Mitch and her friend Rocky. It was a great time! To start the date, we went to the park by my house to play some spikeball. This was Mitch’s request – he competes professionally in spikeball and likely just wanted to show off for his date. Meghan and I geared up to take them on, but we weren’t too confident; you see, I’m pretty good, but this was only Meghan’s second time playing, so we were a bit worried.
And then the games started. But alas, we played great! Each game we had went into overtime. We made some killer plays and even defended some of Mitch’s crazy spikes. Meghan played brilliantly and had some clutch saves. I was genuinely impressed and pleasantly surprised at how well we played and how fun it was. They beat us 2 games to 1, but who cares? It was a blast!
This begs the obvious question: where did the improvement come from? I doubt it’s because either of us practiced. I reckon the reason we did so much better is because we faced opponents who were better. We naturally played UP to our opponent. We had greater desire to do better, and good plays from Mitch and Rocky inspired us with greater knowledge and ability. This led to a game that was not only fun but also boosting to our confidence and self-esteem – and it brought us closer together in our relationship.
I’ve seen this principle many times, as I’m sure everyone has. In ping pong, I find that the better my opponent is, the better I play. As a missionary, the more pressure that was put onto me to teach (maybe time was limited or people were argumentative), often the better my lesson turned out to be. On a test, it seems I’m more likely to miss the easy ones than the hard ones, since the hard ones challenge me and raise my desire and ability. And the list can go on and on.
Now I know this isn’t always true. Sometimes pressure becomes too much and performance decreases. I’ve also seen this happen, in frisbee, school, work, or social relationships. However, for what I’m discussing today, I will look at the positive side of this phenomenon rather than the negative.
I’ve thought a lot about this verse, as found in Doctrine and Covenants:
“For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light…”
(Doctrine and Covenants 88:40)
And this one, as found in the New Testament:
“And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 1:5-8)
These lists, I’m sure, can share attributes with each other and can go on and on. From them can be made two distinct and important observations:
1. Christlike attributes build upon one another.
2. Christlike attributes are attractive.
Let me explain that second statement. Jesus Christ, we can agree, was someone that people wanted to be around. Unless you consciously and directly opposed His message, you were drawn to Him. People constantly flocked to Him to hear His teachings and witness His miracles. He was someone that people were not only comfortable with, but someone who made people feel good. He was attractive.
Think of people in your life, people who are a “light” for you. Most would list their parents – I certainly would. Our fathers are great examples, and it’s important to remember that on this Father’s Day. For many it’s our significant others, friends, siblings, teachers, neighbors, and leaders. These are people in our life that we want to be around because they make us feel comfortable and make us feel good.
Now remember my spikeball analogy. Meghan and I were made better by being around Mitch and Rocky, a dynamic spikeball duo. If spikeball skills were a Christlike attribute (they’re not, and we don’t necessarily need to strive for them, but I guess they’re good to have), then we received a greater measure of that attribute simply by being around someone who had it. Thus, simply by being with a virtuous person we become more virtuous. We become more truthful when spending time with a truthful person. We receive more light from those who shine their light.
Perhaps this is why we are attracted to good people – they make us better, and thus we feel better about ourselves.
This is not to dismiss our responsibility. Yes, good people make us better, but not without our consent. As said before, these good people can increase our desire, knowledge, and ability, but only when we actively apply those things towards making better decisions and better serving others will we gain the desired attribute. Being around a nice person won’t make us nice – it will simply give us the means whereby we can become nicer, if we apply what we learn in our own lives.
Elder Renlund has talked in great measures about this principle. I love his words here, from an MTC training he gave to new Mission Presidents in 2018:
“These attributes are granted as we serve God and our fellowman. The gospel purpose is to produce people of perfect character whose actions are only motivated by the pure love of Christ. It is never just about perfecting ourselves. It is always about helping God in His work.”
(Click HERE to read full article)
Christlike attributes are gifts given from Heavenly Father through the power of Jesus Christ. We cannot earn them on our own accord. Rather, He has given us examples to follow. These examples motivate us to be better, and their very presence is often the only motivation we need to make better choices. Once we make those better choices, God in His goodness endows us with power, possible because of Jesus Christ, and we become better. All we do is make the choice.
We should be grateful for people in our lives who are Christlike, for they influence us in more ways than we can ever imagine.
With that, let me put in a couple of thoughts involving current events. It is clear that the world is getting worse. People are only getting angrier. This makes sense, because just as goodness cleaves unto goodness, so too does evil beget evil. Anger begets anger. Anger can never defeat anger – evil can never defeat evil. They only compound, like two negative numbers being added together (that only makes a bigger negative number). Thus, the only way the world is going to improve is when individual people choose to seek after Christlike attributes. We must pray for them. We must act wisely in order to be worthy of them. Then, when we have them, as many already do, we must show them.
I end with a quote from a truly wise man, Gandalf the Gray, from the movie The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. This is in response to the question of why he chose a hobbit for such a dangerous task:
“Some believe it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I have found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay... simple acts of kindness and love.”
Simple people doing simple things are how Christlike attributes are earned. If everyone were to be simple and do simple things, what a happy world we would live in. Let’s stray from anger and choose instead to love, to be understanding, to be patient, to be meek, and to be Christlike.
Such a simple insight with profound implications.
Love you all heaps!
Adam Simpson
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